If you’ve ever been on an online dating app or site, you know that most profiles are pretty awful. If you are reading this article, there’s a good chance your profile isn’t that great either. Over the last 14 years, I’ve helped over 13,000 singles write their online dating profiles for everything from Match.com and POF.com, to eHarmony, OKCupid, Tinder, and even Farmersonly. No matter which dating site you are using, these tips will help you improve your profile.
1. Make sure that you actually fill out the whole profile
If you’ve been on a dating site for a while, you’ve already noticed this. It seems like more than half of the profiles out there are incomplete. It gives you an immediate bad feeling and makes you wonder whether you are looking at a fake profile or just someone who isn’t serious about finding a relationship. Don’t give other people the chance to have those thoughts about you. If there’s a spot to add more information about your favorite places, the last book you read, six things you can’t live without, or what you typically do on a Friday night, don’t pass up the chance to show yourself off.
2. Keep it positive
It’s really easy to fall into the trap of talking about what you don’t want in your profile. Do yourself a favor and avoid this at all costs. When you write about all the things you don’t want in a relationship, it just looks like you are venting about your ex. That’s not a good way to attract an emotionally healthy partner. We’ve all got baggage, but this is your dating profile, not the luggage carousel at LAX.
3. Don’t give them ingredients; give them cake
No one likes reading lists, but it seems like most online dating profiles are filled with generic ones describing someone’s qualities and what they want in a partner. Think of it this way. Why hand someone eggs, sugar, chocolate, flour, and baking powder when you could be handing them a delicious slice of cake? Try picking a couple items from your list and expanding on them with an anecdote, or at least more detail. This will give people a much better sense of who you are than just saying you are an intelligent, funny, hard-working, person with a sensitive side.
4. Keep your wants objective
It’s great that you have specific things you are looking for in a partner, but you have to know which ones are appropriate to include in a profile and how to do it. For example, it’s never a good idea to say that you are looking for someone attractive or sexy. No one is looking for someone they find ugly. Doing this just makes you sound superficial. What’s worse is that words like sexy and attractive are completely subjective. They might mean one thing to you and something completely different to whoever is reading your profile. The same thing goes for “funny” or “smart”. Are you asking for a sarcastic, goofy, or light-hearted sense of humor? Are you looking for street smarts, book smarts, or some combination of the two? If you don’t get specific and use objective words that people can latch on to, you’ll attract the wrong people and push away the right ones.
6. “I Disease” kills millions of potential first dates every year
This is an easy tip. If most of your sentences start with the word “I”, you have I Disease. Symptoms of this disease include sounding self-centered and having a really boring profile. Indiana Jones And The Raiders Of The Lost Ark was an exciting film, but would you want to see it if it was described like this: “I am an archeologist. I found a temple. I stole an Idol. I got chased by a ball. I hate Snakes”?
7. It’s OK to ask for help
A lot of people are embarrassed about asking a professional writer for help with their online dating profile. Don’t be. There’s a reason why authors don’t write the bios at the back of their books. Writing about yourself is really hard! I’ve had everyone from New York Times reporters and Fortune 500 CEOs, successful doctors, engineers, and even celebrities come to me for help writing their profile. It’s the same reason that millions of people hire someone to help them with their resume`s each year. An expert can help you make a great first impression.
8. Don’t focus too much on any one thing
Lots of have one thing that they are really into. For some it could be golf or cars, for others it could be dancing, exercise, religion, or community service. If you aren’t careful, that one thing can dominate your profile and make you appear one dimensional. Make sure that your profile explores more than just your favorite thing. Talk about your connection to family, what gets you excited each day, your social circle, or anything else that will give people a complete image of who you are.
9. Check your spelling and grammar
You don’t want to be the person who loses out on a date because your profile is sloppy. If you are worried that you might have some bad grammar or misspelled words, copy and paste your profile into a Word document or Google Docs and run a quick check. Even better, get the Grammarly add-on to your browser and it will check your work as you type! It is a great way to make sure that your profile is easy to read and understand.
10. Never ask for a response
Men and women have a nasty habit of ending a profile with some sort of call to action. It usually goes something like: If this sounds good to you, then drop me a line, or if you think we might be a good match, send me an email. While this might sound like a polite way to end a profile, it actually makes you look desperate. A person who asks for a response in a dating profile comes across as someone who has to ask for a response. Don’t do it.
Follow these ten tips and you will already be in a better position than 80% of the online daters with whom you are competing. If you want to take things to the next level, give me a call (Eric) at 1-888-447-7634, or check out our services to see how we can help you take control of your online dating life.