It doesn’t matter if you are on a big site like Match.com or POF, or a smaller niche site like Christianmingle or JDate, the biggest mistake that people make with their online dating profiles is that they spend too much energy trying to convince people they are a good catch.

Just because they are called personal ads, doesn’t mean you have to sell yourself. Dating sites are filled with people listing all their best qualities or even worse, what they say their friends think about them. The truth is, the person you want to meet doesn’t care about any of that. It just makes it sound like you are trying to talk them into giving you a chance… and that makes you seem desperate.

My advice is to just talk about yourself in terms of what you like and why you like those things. You don’t need to tell someone that you are intelligent when you can just tell them that your favorite part of Sunday morning is tackling the New York times Crossword… in Ink.  You don’t have to say you are athletic, just talk about the 5k you just ran or how you like to unwind by jumping on your bike and riding it around the park.

Giving context to your qualities is what takes you from being a list of sale items on a used car ad to a real person that other people can connect with.  A lot of people still think online dating is about attracting the most attention possible. It isn’t. The only people you should care about on a dating site are the ones who are right for you.  Those people don’t need any convincing.

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