This might sound like a simple question, but it isn’t as simple as “I want a date,” for most people. Your motivation for joining an online dating site can be the defining ingredient of your experience. Depending on your motivation, you might be better suited to one site or another. Heck, there’s a chance that your motivation might prove that you really aren’t ready for online dating at all, at least not yet.

Just like there are tons of different dating sites out there, there are also tons of reasons to get on them. What of the quickest paths to online dating failure is not knowing your own motivations for doing it. In some ways, this will be the hardest task that I give you, because it means being 100% honest with yourself.

Here are some of the most common personal motivations that I’ve heard from clients about why they are going online. Your answer doesn’t have to be among them, but it is a good place to start:

  • I’m happy with my life, but I think it could be better if I found the right person with whom to share it.
  • I’m tired of sitting at home on a Friday Night.
  • I’m becoming the third wheel for my friends because I’m the only one without a partner when we all go out.
  • I’m lonely.
  • I’ve looked everywhere else, but I’ve not been able to find a decent partner.
  • I want to start a family and the clock is ticking.
  • My parents/friends won’t stop harassing me until I give online dating a try.
  • I’m looking for a very particular type of relationship, and I think my best chance of finding it is online.
  • I can’t remember the last time I had sex.
  • I’ve been a relationship for a long time and I am looking for a little bit of proof that “I’ve still got it.”