Burnout is real in all areas of life. We’ve almost all felt burn-out with our jobs or with our social life. If you are in the USA, you are probably burnt out on following the news or politics. And, if you’ve been using dating apps for a while, there’s a good chance that you either have experienced or are experiencing online dating burnout.
What Is Online Dating Burnout?
Online dating burnout is something that almost every online dater has to deal with and navigate at least once during their search for love. When not managed properly, it can take even the most optimistic person and turn them into a snarky, pessimistic dater. When you get burnout, one of the first things to go is your positive attitude. It’s very easy to start feeling hopeless and to start dreading logging into your profile to see your new matches. I think that a lot of people quit online dating because they get so burnt out that the idea of logging back into a dating app becomes more stressful than it’s worth.
Burnout doesn’t have to kill your chances of meeting someone online. In fact, it can be the turning point for a lot of people in helping them get ready for online dating success. Here is what I suggest when it comes to dealing with dating burnout.
Put Your Search on Hold to Avoid Online Dating Burnout
There is a huge misconception that online dating is a numbers game and that you have to constantly grind if you want to succeed. After all, your perfect match could be one more swipe away, right? WRONG! This sense of urgency is a trick by the dating industry to get you to stay engaged and buy more services. In reality, the idea of “the one” just isn’t true. I’ve had too many clients who have found love again after losing a spouse they were with for 30+ years. The universe is not so cruel to make it so you only get one love and you’ll miss out on them if you aren’t constantly vigilant.
You need to take care of yourself before you can be a good partner to others. So, if you are feeling overwhelmed by online dating, stop for a bit. Take a week, a month, or as long as you need and focus on other areas of your life that make you happy. If you try finding a partner while you are miserable, you are going to find a miserable partnership. There will always be a match for you when you come back, but you have to be in the right headspace if you are going to make it work.
Talk to an Impartial Person About What Is Going on
Your friends and family are always going to be a great resource for you. They love you and they want what’s best for you. With that said, they aren’t always great with dating advice or online dating burnout. A big part of the reason for this is that their advice isn’t objective. It’s based on everything they’ve experienced with you over the years. So, their advice isn’t necessarily about what’s best for you as much as it is about what they think is best for you. The problem is that their idea of what you need oftentimes does not match up with what you actually want or need yourself.
When you are feeling burnt out on dating, getting an objective third-party opinion can be helpful. It could be with a dating coach like me or with your therapist. (If you don’t have one there are several great services that offer affordable teletherapy). Heck, if you have a favorite local bar, sometimes the bartender could be exactly the objective voice that you need to hear. The great thing about an objective third voice is that we are a lot less worried about hurting your feelings because we don’t have a pre-existing relationship with you, and we are a lot more focused on the objective truth than we are in steering you toward the direction we want you to go.
Have Someone Review Your Profile to Make Sure You Aren’t Getting in Your Own Way
In the same way that talking to an objective third party can oftentimes be more useful than asking a loved one for advice, your friends and family are usually the worst people to ask about your dating profile. They all have their own ideas of who you are and what you need based on their personal view of you. And, they all have their own philosophy on dating, which is almost always unhelpful. An objective third party can look at your profile and let you know where the problem points are from the outside. This objective viewpoint may help you tackle your online dating burnout.
Your friends might all love your sense of humor, but the jokes in your profile may not read the same to a stranger as they do to someone who loves you. This can even carry through to your photos. There are little things like the way you stand, your clothing, or if your friends have gotten used to the fact that you never smile in your pics. Having someone disconnected from your life look over your pics and profile can be a major step toward getting out of your own way. If you’d like me to look over your profile, we offer everyone a free profile assessment.
I hope this helps. If you have any questions, you can always call me for a free consultation at 888-447-7634 or you can email me. If you want to get a fresh start with a new profile, you can check out all of our profile writing and coaching services.