Coming up with a catchy headline and a great user name. These are two of the biggest challenges of writing your dating profile.
The good news is that most dating sites have actually gotten rid of headlines. They would rather have you use your first name then try to come up with something clever and forced.
But, POF, the largest free dating site, still make you come up with both a unique username and a profile headline. So, there are millions of singles still struggling. Even though these are the most pointless parts of your dating profiles.
Today, we’re going to talk about how to write the perfect online dating headline and the do’s and don’ts of usernames.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Profile Usernames
Your username is the first thing you come up with when you sign-up for an account on a dating site, so let’s start there.
I’ve been getting calls for over a decade from people wondering if their username is good. They all want to know, how do I choose a user name that makes someone want to read my profile? How do I find one that helps make sure that that person will send me a message?
The answer to this is very simple, you can’t.
There are examples of profile names that are bad enough to scare people away. But, there’s never been an example of one that attracts all singles like a magnet.
If you belong to a dating site that requires a user name my first advice is always going to be to use your first name. The good news for people on most dating sites likes Match.com is that they want you to use your first name. Match send out messages to their members to change their username to their first name.
In fact, that Match even removed the ability to search for a profile by username. making them pointless.
Now, if you’re on Plenty of Fish, you have to create a username. Unfortunately, many singles find picking one to be a huge challenge. POF has over 50 million profiles on its dating site at any given time.
Coming up with something clever and unique that isn’t in use by one of the 50 million other people is no small feat.
Instead of trying to come up with something clever just use your first name and a bunch of random numbers. That is really all that you need when it comes to coming up with a good profile user name.
When I was a dater, I just used my dog’s name, and the year I was born.
When Usernames Go Horribly Wrong
The best example of a well-meaning username going horribly wrong, is a call I got from a client several years ago.
She was new to online dating and as she was born in 1969 and considered herself to be fun. So, she gave herself the username of Fungirl69.
While that username was catchy, it didn’t exactly catch the kind of attention she was looking for. By the time she called me, this extremely conservative woman was in literal tears over the tone of the messages she had received.
When I explained to her what was probably happening, she decided that online dating was not for her. The sad part of this story is that all her trouble could have been avoided if she skipped the fancy username and just used her first name.
Another big problem is people using boastful usernames. Or that sound like they are trying to show what a great person they are. You’ll see people use the words “thoughtful”, “sensitive”, or “honest” in their profile. But, words like that just end up looking like you’re trying to sell yourself. People don’t generally trust them.
When I was single and using dating sites to meet someone I always used my dog’s name and my birth year. As someone who met their wife on a dating site, not having a fancy username did nothing to hurt me.
How To Write Dating Profile Headlines
Like with your username, try to come up with a clever headline for your dating profile is pointless. It will often just make it look like you are trying too hard, and you’ll end up looking cheesy.
Instead, if you have to use a profile headline, make sure it means something to you personally. Forget about trying to figure out what most people want to see. Your profile shouldn’t attract the most people anyway, it should attract the right people.
In fact, a good profile should repel 99% of the people who read it. After all, if compatibility was really that easy, you’d be with your partner right now and not reading this blog.
One of the easiest ways to come up with a good dating profile headline is to use a quote. Think about some of your favorite movies and songs. See is there a certain line of dialogue or a certain lyric that means a lot to you?
That line could be a great headline.
Make sure isn’t overly emotional, your dating profile needs to be upbeat. You also want to make sure that the quote isn’t too long. Most dating sites aren’t going to allow you more than 10 words for your headline.
Think of a question that you can use as a conversation starter. Questions make super catchy dating profile headlines. But, there are a couple of rules.
- First, the question cannot be a yes/no question. Only ask open-ended questions. Yes/no questions end conversations, they don’t start them.
- Second, the question should be something you actually want to know. If you’re using this to start a conversation with a potential love interest, asking them something you don’t care about is a great way to shoot yourself in the foot and blow a potential connection.
The biggest piece of advice that I can give for writing a catchy dating profile headline is to remember that your goal is connecting with people. Where most singles go wrong is that they try to sell themselves and convince people to give them a chance.
In reality, you can’t make people give you a chance if they aren’t already inclined to do so. Successful online dating isn’t about trying to sell yourself into a relationship without compatibility. It is all about finding the people you share an actual connection with and building from there.
Start a Conversation, Stop Trying to Sell Yourself, and Keep It Lighthearted
If you go onto any dating site where a headline’s needed you’ll see the same mistakes over and over again. You’re going to see women trying to sound sexy just to catch a man’s attention.
You’ll see men trying to sound cool, macho, or super wealthy, just to see if they can get someone to click on their profile.
Sure, some of these might get you a click. But, they are not coming from the types of people that you want to meet. At least not if you’re being honest with yourself about your relationship goals.
At the end of the day, be yourself. Whether the site you’re on needs a headline or not, being yourself always is the best idea.
Being yourself is the only way that you’re going to connect with the people who are right for you.
There are tons of blogs out there on dating advice websites that will promise you they know the secret. That they have the number one dating headline that you should use if you want a response from men or women.
But, there is no secret. There is no “one dating headline”. The most important thing is that whatever you do, it is unique to you. If you’re going to use a line from your favorite song, use it because it’s your favorite song.
Using a quote like: “Leave the gun take the cannoli,” proves you love the Godfather, not that people will think it is cool that you like The Godfather.
Ask a question in your headline because you want to know what the answer. Not because you read on a blog that this is a question that a lot of people like to answer.
If you really want to succeed at online dating, you can’t look at things is a numbers game. Not everyone on a dating site will be for you, and some of the people you like are looking for something else.
You can’t change that, and that’s OK.
Take your time and look at every single potential match. Find the things in their profile that make it seem like they would be interested in you. Not just that they make you like them.
If you can get that part down then you’re already further along than almost everyone else who’s using online dating.
If you still feel stuck, let me know. I’m here to help in any way that I can. Either reach out to me through our contact form or give me a call at 888-447-7634.