Profile Helper has worked with over 14,000 men and women who are searching for love online. That means we’ve read a lot of online dating profiles. We’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to profile writing and we’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. From our experience, we’ve developed ways to help people write a profile that really captures who they are and who they want to meet.

A lot of our clients are amazed to discover that the reason they aren’t finding higher-quality matches online could be because of what they’ve written in their profile. Your profile picture might be the first impression someone has of you, but what you write on your profile is their first chance to get to know who you are. And if you’ve been using any of these five phrases, it could be telling potential dates that you aren’t the person for them.

Five Phrases To Ditch in Your Online Dating Profile

“If you want to know anything, just ask.”

Of course they want to know about you! That’s why they are reading your profile. Getting to know each other is what dating is all about. Putting this overused phrase in your profile actually does the opposite of what you want it to do. It doesn’t make it seem like you are an open book; instead, it makes it seem like you are hiding something and it’s up to your potential partner to find out what it is. It puts all of the burdens on the other person to ask the right questions in order to discover more about your personality, dreams, like and dislikes. That’s not a great way to start a relationship!

What to write instead:

Don’t rely on this phrase to fill out a portion of your profile you don’t want to bother answering. If there is something that you’d rather not answer yet, then write something such as “I look forward to discussing this topic more on our date!” And when you do go on a date with something, keep the conversation flowing. Be sure to ask them about themselves and answer their questions honestly.

“Just out of a long-term relationship.”

This is probably true for most of the people on the dating site, so points for honesty. However, adding this phrase to your profile can make it seem like you might not really be over that relationship yet at best and petty at worst. Besides, no one wants to be the rebound relationship, so it can make a lot of great people click off of your profile in favor of something who sounds ready for a commitment instead. It’s a good idea to avoid discussing past relationships on your profile altogether. Save that discussion for the face-to-face time.

What to write instead:

Write about the kind of person you’d like to meet or what kind of relationship you are looking to find. It might be a casual thing or you might be in search of your life partner, but in either case, it’s best to keep your profile focused on the present and the future and keep talk about the past to a minimum for now.

“I love long walks on the beach.”

Who doesn’t? Okay, there are probably a few people out there who would rather avoid the sand, but for the most part, we’d all love to go for a hand-in-hand stroll along the beach with someone we love. This phrase is so cliche that it doesn’t actually tell the reader anything about you. Avoid other cliches like “I love to travel,” “I love candlelit dinners,” and “I love pina coladas and taking walks in the rain.”

What to write instead:

Get specific about your interests and hobbies and how you’d like to spend time with a partner. If you like to ride your bike, write about what kind of bike you have and what kind of riding you like to do. If you do love the beach, talk about some of your favorite beaches you’ve visited and one you hope to go to someday. This will tell the reader a lot more about you and help them discover your personality and interests.

“I expect my partner to be funny, kind, charming, intelligent, generous, and financially independent.”

Oh, is that all? No problem. (End of sarcasm!) If it were easy to find a person like this, there would be no market for online dating. It’s good to have high standards, but the truth is, no one is perfect. Writing out a long list of must-have expectations for your perfect partner is going to be more than a little intimidating for anyone reading it. You could end up scaring off something who would be a great match and leave yourself only with a pool of people narcissistic enough to think they fit the bill.

What to write instead:

It’s okay to have expectations. It’s also okay to know you absolutely must have in a relationship. But don’t get so specific that you start ruling out potential partners who could be amazing for you but who might not be absolutely perfect. A lot of people find love with someone they wouldn’t have initially picked for themselves, so being open to opportunities could bring you some unexpected surprises.

“I think online dating is awful.”

This could come across as an insult to anyone reading your profile. Maybe finding the love of your life online isn’t your ideal meet-cute, but writing about how much you dislike it can come across as condescending to potential partners. The fact is more and more people are meeting online and there are millions of marriages to prove that it works. So even if you’ve always dreamed of meeting your partner in the park and having that “love at first sight” moment, you’ve made the decision to start looking online, so don’t put it down.

What to write instead:

It’s okay to say you were hesitant to try online dating! Most people are, so you’ll be in good company. But also write about how you are looking forward to meeting new people and seeing what opportunities for love online dating can bring. That sounds a lot more hopeful and encouraging instead of making it seem like you view online dating as giving up.

Other Tips for a Top Profile

Looking for more tips to whip your online dating profile into shape? Be sure to check out some of our other articles on the topic, where you’ll find tips such as:

  • Give them something to talk about. In our article 3 Tips to Improve Your Online Dating Profile, we suggested finding a good balance between sharing about yourself and leaving some things to mystery. That will give you more to talk about during your first date and plenty of conversation topics to cover!
  • Don’t leave any sections blank. In part one of our article 4 Online Dating Mistakes to Avoid, we talked about how detrimental blank sections can be on your profile. Even writing a sentence or two can help share your personality and give readers a sense of who you are. The more blanks you leave, the harder it is to get to know you and the more likely the reader is going to be to click over to the next profile.
  • Use proper spelling and grammar. It might seem like a small thing, but we wrote about this big pet peeve in our article Essential Rules for Writing Your Online Dating Profile. Poor spelling or grammar can cause you to come across as unintelligent, something that many people cite as a “must” in their future partners.

Still struggling to write an online dating profile that captures the right kind of attention? Get in touch with our team. We can help you write your profile so you get more responses from the kind of people you want to be meeting. Get a free 10-minute consultation today to learn more!