how to write a dating profile

When it comes to success in online dating, it all comes down to three things: your profile, your photos, and your strategy. With online dating apps split between discovery apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge and apps like Match, POF, Zoosk, and eHarmony knowing how to write the best dating profile for the dating app you are can be confusing.

In today’s blog, we are going to break down the basics of how to write a profile that attracts the people you want to meet.

How to Write a Profile for Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge

Discovery, or Swipe, apps changed the way people date when Tinder first came onto the market in 2012. Where you used to have to write a long profile, now you were limited to no more than 500 characters.

Also, instead of searching through profiles, you swiped through photos, only stopping to read the ones that grabbed your attention. The result is a type of dating that feels more like a video game.

This makes spending time on these apps easier, but it can make finding a connection on apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge that much harder.

What Are People Doing Wrong?

With only 500 characters on Tinder, 350 on Bumble, and only 150 per answer on Hinge, people feel like their only chance is to stand out with a profile so clever that the reader would want to not only swipe right but share it on their Instagram account.

This is the wrong way to go.

When you try to be clever or funny, it often just sounds forced and disingenuous. You don’t need to entertain the masses to get your profile swiped on. You just need to connect with people. You are never going to get a good connection with a sales pitch, and that’s what half the people on these apps are doing.

Sadly, the other half are just listing adjectives like features on a used car… because there’s nothing people want to read more than a list.

How do I write my Tinder or Bumble profile?

We will have a more in-depth post coming out on this soon, but the basics are pretty easy.

  • Forget the sales pitch
    • You can’t convince people to like you if there’s no connection. Just be yourself. It is the only way you will connect with the right people.
  • Leave the list behind
    • Instead of filling space with a ton of useless adjectives, pick three things that matter to you. Write a full sentence for each one of them, giving context and color. That way you aren’t just saying you love concerts, you are creating a conversation starter by telling them about the best show you’ve ever been to or your dream concert. This context is what will grab people. If they liked your photos enough that they wanted to read your profile, this is the kind of stuff that will make them want to get to know you. Lists just don’t do that for you.
  • Tell a story
    • If the previous suggestion doesn’t grab you, pick one thing, a story from your life that tells who you are. That’s the only thing you have to write about. When people read that, they’ll get a sense of who you are, and that will help them determine if they would actually want to spend time with you.
  • Use the space they give you
    • I’m constantly amazed at how many people use less than 100 characters of their allotted space on their profiles. The number of characters between the number 3 and the start of this sentence is already 143. When you leave a profile blank, or you write the least amount that you think you can get away with, you show people that you don’t really care about how you present yourself and you are mainly focused on photos. Even if that was true, you’ll still have a much better rate of success if you put in that little bit of extra effort.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help
    • Whether you need an objective eye on your photos or you need help writing your Tinder/ Bumble profile, we’ve got you covered. We’ve created a suite of services specifically to help you improve your success with Tinder and Bumble. Check them out HERE.

How Do I Write My Hinge Profile?

Hinge is actually our favorite discovery dating app. While not as large as Tinder or Bumble, It has a design that is far more conducive to starting conversations and connecting than any of its discovery competitors. Here are two big tips that everyone needs to make sure they follow when they write their Hinge profile.

  • Choose the right questions
    • When people call me for help with their Hinge profile, one of the first problems I notice is that they usually choose questions because they think other people want to read the answers, not because they had any interest in answering them. If you don’t pick questions that interest you, your answers are going to suck! It only takes five minutes to read through all of the questions they give you to choose from. If you don’t have an answer in your head for that question, pick a different one. If you have to sit and ponder what your answer should be to a question, you shouldn’t be trying to answer that profile question.
  • Give full answers
    • There is no dating app where people are more guilty of one-word answers than on Hinge. You have 150 characters. It’s not a lot. It’s two letters more than I wrote in the last two sentences. When you answer a question, make sure you take the time to give your answer context. Instead of just saying you can’t live without Italian food, tell people that one special dish that always makes a bad day better for you.
  • Call in the experts
    • If you get stuck on your Hinge profile, we’ve created a special service just for you. With this service, you can hop on the phone with one of our dating profile writers and have your new profile in as little as 20 minutes! Check it out HERE.

How to Write a Profile for Match, Pof, Zoosk, Harmony, or Okcupid

Traditional dating apps like Match, POF, Zoosk, eHarmony, and OKC are where most of the real relationship-seekers are when it comes to online dating. Most of these dating apps require a paid membership, and they all require a much longer profile than you’ll see on Discovery apps.

Another big thing to realize about these dating apps is that they draw a more mature crowd than discovery apps. I would not generally recommend any of these apps (other than OKC) to anyone under 32. With all of that in mind, here are some tips to help you write your dating profile:

  • Show don’t tell
    • Most people are a recipe: I’m funny, outgoing, loyal, kind, athletic. People don’t want to eat the recipe, they want to eat the cake. Never list things about you. Take the list of things that you want to say, cut it in half, and then make sure that each of those things has a comment added to it that brings it to life and gives it context. That’s what will take you from flour, eggs, sugar, and cocoa to a moist, delicious chocolate cake.
  • Watch your “I”s
    • You can make the world’s most interesting person sound like the world’s most boring person if every sentence about yourself starts with the word “I.” Make sure to use transitional phrasing in your sentences and it will do a much better job of creating a connection with prospective matches.
  • Remember your audience
    • Most people think they need to write a profile that attracts the most people. That’s just wrong. Your profile should actually repel around 99% of the people who see it. The only people who matter are the ones with whom you share actual compatibility. Don’t worry about attracting everyone else.
  • Don’t worry about funny, worry about you
    • People always ask me to make their profile funnier or more clever, but that’s not always the best plan. Funny and clever is great if you have a funny story to share or something that is naturally clever. Trying to force it into the profile just makes you sound like a salesman. If you really want to add humor, the best way is through an anecdote. Other than that, just focus on being yourself.
  • Don’t ask for things that are normal parts of healthy relationships
    • You’ll often see people say they want to meet someone honest and loyal, or someone who doesn’t play games and is looking for a monogamous relationship. While all of these things sound reasonable, they are also things that you shouldn’t have to ask for. When you do ask, it makes it sound like you are still dealing with issues from past relationships where you were lied to or cheated on.
  • Don’t write too little, or too much
    • The worst thing you can do in a traditional profile is to write the same kind of profile that you would for a discovery dating app. You have space. Use it! A good profile is going to be at least 150 words long. However, if it goes over 300 words, fewer people are going to be willing to read it.
  • Give me a call
    • If you’ve read all these tips and still feel confused, or like you would rather have a professional take care of it for you, give e a call at 888-447-7634. We can talk about your concerns and come up with a plan to make sure you have a great dating profile. You can also check out all of our dating profile writing services HERE.

Bonus Tip For OKCupid and eHarmony Profiles

Unlike the other dating profiles, eHarmony and OKCupid break their profiles up into a series of questions.

It is really important that you answer EVERY question. This is not the time or place to get lazy. Take the time to answer them all, and make sure that you give full answers. One word answers are just going to make it look like you don’t really care about meeting someone.

Get Out There and Put Your Best Foot Forward with a Dating Profile That Stands Out From The Crowd

That’s it for today. These are some of the core ideas behind how to write a great dating profile. If you’ve made it this far, but you are stuck, don’t worry. I’ve been helping singles with their dating profiles for the last sixteen years. I’m here for you.

Just give me a call at 888-447-7634, or send me a message HERE.