I’ve helped over 13,000 singles with their online dating profiles on dating sites from Match.com to eHarmony, POF to Farmersonly and everything in-between. Along the way, I’ve picked up on some simple rules that you need to follow if you want to find love through online dating.
1. Be Uniquely You
If you’ve ever looked through online dating profiles in search of a date or a mate, you’ve probably noticed that most of them look and sound the same. Bad profiles barely scratch the surface of who you are. Instead, they are often just filled with a vague list of meaningless adjectives. One easy way to avoid this is to make sure that there are at least two (more is even better) bits of info that are uniquely about you. I’m talking about anecdotes, a story about something embarrassing that you can now look back at and laugh, even just specific details about some of your favorite things. When you include unique information about yourself, you instantly become more interesting than the 90% of online daters who don’t.
2. You Can’t Be Everything To Everyone
Somewhere along the way, people got the idea that successful online dating means getting tons of first dates. That is only the case if you aren’t getting any dates at all. The real goal should be more 10th dates. You want to go on as few first dates as possible in your quest to meet someone or you run the risk of emotional burnout. Many people write profiles designed to attract the most people. In truth, a good profile should repel around 90% of the people who read it. Write your profile for the people you want to meet most, not just the ones you think you can get to respond.
3. It’s a story, Not a Commercial. Stop Selling
You aren’t a used car or a blender that’s just gone on sale. Stop treating yourself like one. Instead of trying to convince people to like you, just tell them about yourself and what you are looking for. The people with whom you share compatibility will be drawn to you and the rest of the people don’t really matter in the long run.
4. Don’t Try To Be Funny Or Clever
Not everyone is funny or clever, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, trying to be something you aren’t can get you into trouble. 99 times out of 100, a person trying to sound funny or clever in their profile just sounds like they are trying to sound funny or clever. Even worse, what sounds funny in your head could sound rude or offensive to people reading it on a screen. If you want to inject some humor into your profile, a great place is in an anecdote.
5. Talk About What You Want, Not What You Don’t Want
A good profile is generally 70% about you and 30% about the person you want to meet, but you have to do it the right way. Don’t focus on the things that you hated about past relationships. Instead, focus on positive things that you want in a partner. Limit your description to personality traits, relationship goals, and lifestyle. Never write about looks, attractiveness, or “sexiness.”When you do that, it just makes you seem superficial.
These five rules are a great place to start when it comes to writing an amazing online dating profile. If you need a little more help getting started on the right foot, an online dating coach can help. Give me a call (Eric) at 1-888-447-7634, or check out our services. Let me help you take control of your online dating life.